if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
