in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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