I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
