yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
