I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
