you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
