you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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