I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
