cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize