I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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