Im at strip club and am horny
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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