u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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