I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
