What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
