Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
