So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Also, beer. Big fan.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
