She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Terrible idea I love it
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
