How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
