Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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