and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just gargled with NyQuil
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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