my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
