The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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