Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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