and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
