Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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