So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
