you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
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i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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