he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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