Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
