he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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