i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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