i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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