I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize