what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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