In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
