your thong is hanging out like whoa
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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