Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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