Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
