And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize