Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
