After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
tell me about the eggs
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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