So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
