Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
