i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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