I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
