Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
