A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We're too hungover to prance.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
