shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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