Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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