I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize