At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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