Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
