no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
