break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
