i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
