So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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