used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
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you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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