when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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