I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
My pussy is not your playground.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize