i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You took a bar mat shot.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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